Donny's Dance Grooves

Aided by the Boy Band era of the late 90s/early 00’s I have harnessed by own internal dorkitude to develop several signature dance moves. So many in fact, that I often leave an event realizing I forgot to break out all the items in my tool belt. For our wedding, I strived to find a new trick and thought I had settled on an idea after watching one of the best dance contests I’ve ever seen during episode four of The BC. I have no idea how college students pulled this one off, but when I tried to get down and whip my right leg around so it slid under my left I very quickly realized I would need CGI effects to pull it off and that’s a little outside of our budget. So you’re stuck with my same old moves and here’s a look at what you’re in for.

The Timberlake Drop: One of my favorite moves stolen from the ‘N Sync video when JT falls down the shaft. They key to pulling this off is the slow rise after hitting the ground

The Jump rope: Created at the The Burren during a Swinging Johnson’s performance of Eye of the Tiger, it captures the essence of all the Rocky movies wrapped in one. Please stand back for the double dutch portion.

Thriller: Reintroduced into the mainstream after a Donovan McNabb 2004 playoff touchdown, I threw this one down at a wedding that summer. A crowd favorite and works well with Outcast’s Hey Yeah.

The Showstopper: I dreamt this creation up in the shower on the weekend of good friends Ed and Shannon’s wedding. I had been deathly ill and the medication probably helped me with this one although I did have to practice it in the hotel room a few times to make sure I could physically pull it off.

In addition to these signature moves, I have several other standards available. Please let me know if I forgot one of your favorites.

Everybody Dance Now

After the wedding ceremony we’ll all head over to the reception for some cocktails followed by dinner and then the celebratory part of the evening will commence. Or will it? While we have dedicated a significant amount of time planning the reception it might not be the throw it down frat party you may be expecting. Now calm down, there definitely will be a portion of the night dedicated to the younger folks (if you call 30 younger folks), but we have a wide range of ages we need to entertain to make this a wedding to remember.

Hmm…did I use the right choice of words in my last statement? If I’ve learned one thing about my party planning its that you need to be cocky by working the guests to get their excitement level up as well as directly riding people for not attending. The truth of the matter is it takes a great deal of time and energy to put a celebration at any level together. Even then, up until the beginning of the night you have no idea if everything will pay off or if it will all flop like Emily’s Reasons Why Not. Fortunately, I’ve been very lucky in my parties and while I think I know what I’m doing, you never really know what’s going to happen.

So back to the wedding. We have the perfect DJ for our wedding because he’s a normal guy willing to have professional conversations with us instead of slipping into character or insisting we may be compromising his artistic vision. I had a wonderful conversation with him three weeks ago where we discussed the outline for the evening and strongly believe he understands what he needs to do to make this a memorable day for everyone.

We’re going to start slow…very slow at the cocktail hour. If you need to drink three bottles of wine in 30 minutes and pass out in the bathroom then go for it, but we’re going slow with the music so people can get comfortable and catch up with their friends and family. We’ll all then move on to the reception for the usual wedding party entrance, some speeches, dinner, cake cutting, and a couple of other things before opening up the dance floor. Be prepared because will not be opening with AC/DC’s You Shook Me all Night Long. The first portion of the evening will be reserved for what we will be referring to as “All Ages Dancing.” Yes, there will be some slower music where you may need to find a dance partner, but there will also be some quality oldies that definitely have some speed to them. The DJ will then have to gauge how things are going and while I don’t expect him to fix what isn’t broken he eventually will be fazing in to more of our favorite hits from the 80’s, 90’s and today. Maybe it will be sooner, or maybe it will be later, but I would guesstimate at solid 1 1/2-2 hours.

And there you go. Oh, we also will not be having any games, line dancing, an available microphone or campy songs we can’t stand so please don’t ask or badger the DJ if he turns you down. I think we’re in for a fun evening and I hope you are too.

Oh, and make sure you stay around for a very special final song for the hitched couple.

And Down the Stretch they Come

I have the week off to take on any last minute preparations and entertain the first round of arriving guests on Wednesday. We’re both very excited and hope you are too. Here’s a recap of what to expect for the week.

Wednesday BBQ: We’re breaking out of wedding mode and will be firing up the grill for the night. Please let us know if you can make it.

Rehearsal Dinner: Friday night, we will be having a clambake at Henrietta’s Table in The Charles Hotel for the rehearsal dinner. If my version of the legend proves correct we were actually dining at this restaurant when we decided to make Harvard Square our home base.

Legal Seafood Outdoor Patio, Harvard Square: If you’re in town Friday night please come out at 9:30-10:00 to meet us for a drink at one of Boston’s hidden gems. It will be a great opportunity to catch up with us, our families, and get to know some of the other wedding guests. Located at The Charles Hotel

St. Ignatius Church, Saturday 1:30: It’s time to break out the workbook you received in the mail and make your way over to Boston College to witness the culmination of the past 13 months as we finally become husband and wife.

Ballroom Veronique Saturday, 4:00: Let’s Get This Party Started!!!!!! It all comes down to this and everyone involved has been busting their tails to make it a special experience for everyone. The food will be excellent and I recommend trying as much of it as you possibly can. And yes there will be scallops wrapped in bacon. The guests will be excited and off course the music will be fantastic (stay tuned for a future post). And who know what sort of surprises we may have tucked up our sleeves?

This will be a special day for the two of us and we hope it will be a day for you to remember as well. Perhaps sitting at your table will make you feel the most comfortable, but our guests will be a welcoming group and I recommend you make your way around the room and introduce yourself.

This Here's a Jam for all you Fellahs

We’re going old school hip-hop this week with Young MC’s Bust A Move. If I recall correctly Young is what they call a “one hit wonder” although he did make one glorious attempt at a return to greatness with an appearance on this year’s Celebrity Fit Club.

This song’s a surefire hit at any event for children of the late 80’s and best of all it’s thematic as the fourth and final verse describes a scene at a wedding. Of course I’m not quite sure how someone becomes the best man at his best friend’s brother’s wedding. I would think that job would fall to the brother or the best friend of the groom, but sometimes I over think things. Regardless, this ditty will make for a good old-fashioned wedding dance off.

My most personal story involving this song revolves around me appearing in a karaoke style music video to Bust a Move filmed at Walt Disney World’s Pleasure Island in 1989. My parents have kept this video to sell to the E! Network once I become famous and I am sure you will all be dazzled by my guitar skills.

And Now Over to Don on Sports

If you’re a sports fan like I am you just went through an action packed four days including an NHL game 7, an NBA champion, numerous World Cup games, and some quality baseball. Here’s a recap of what I saw over this period


NHL Champion Carolina Hurricane: It’s great to have hockey back. Of course it never really left for Bethany and myself since we still made it to 20+ college hockey games during the lockout. An exciting finals saw the resilient Edmonton Oilers storm back from a 3 games to 1 deficit to force a decisive game seven. If you’ve never attended or watched a sudden death hockey game you have no idea what an exciting experience you’re missing. For next years, here’s to the Bruins not becoming the Clippers and the NHL getting a decent TV deal. This also marks my third Stanley Cup finals of not rooting for the eventual champion.

NBA Champion Miami Heat: The Heat appeared dead in the water after losing the first two games in Dallas, but stormed back to win the next four games of the series to give the “team built to win” the trophy. Jason Terry is a player, but Dwayne Wade channeled Michael Jordan by taking over in dominating fashion and appears to have a long successful career ahead of him. The NBA has returned and if you watched any of the Suns series or the first round Cavs/Wizards games you know what I’m talking about.

MLB/Red Sox-Braves Sunday Night Baseball: How the mighty have fallen. Baseball has commercialized a traditionalist game by heavily emphasizing offense only to have most of its stars turn out to be cheats or a bunch of jerks. Oops. Sunday’s pitching match up, however, between John Smoltz and Curt Schilling lived up to all the hype. Two guys who know how to pitch each throwing fantastic, intense games until the chaos of the bullpens took over (although I have to admit that was exciting in it’s own right). The problem with baseball is they have decided to not teach the fans the game and they have no interest in quality. You end with full stadiums cheering over pop ups because the ball’s in the air when you can clearly see the batter got out on his front foot and it isn’t going anywhere. I’m not really too sure what to make of the rest of the season just yet, although Ozzie Guillen really needs to go away. He kind of reminds me of that annoying, racist relative who ten minutes into Christmas you realize the act grew old in 1987 and he needs to leave.

World Cup: I will proudly stand up and admit I have watched too many World Cup games to count and have enjoyed all of them. The U.S. have proven their eight year initiative to match the rest of the world has flopped and needs to retool or more realistically recognize it’s not going to happen. The best athletes in every other country play soccer while the U.S. gets everyone after baseball, basketball, and football. So they came out and stunk it up against the Czechs. Big Deal. What stood out to me was after watching Ghana beat the Czechs and Brazil defeat Australia was that the boys in red, white, and blue did not even come close to matching the speed, skill, and intensity of those squads.

The Responses

D day has come and gone and we now have a locked guest list which will only change if people decide they cannot attend over the next 12 days. Brainstorming a list of our friends and family to invite served as the initial activity of our wedding planning process and I can’t believe it’s wrapped up. Well, almost wrapped up as we spent tonight in the mind-boggling process of the seating chart, but that’s for another day.


It’s a pretty exciting process finding out each day who has sent in their card and if they will or will not be making it. I’m always pretty bad at getting those response cards back in for weddings on time, but I was surprised to see how many other people end up in the same boat as myself and it crosses all demographics. I always act like it’s a major chore to write a number, seal the envelope, and drop it in mailbox. Anyway after a one-week grace period we had to put the screws to a few people and we’re good to go. I will say I have learned the importance of getting them in on time. Here are some fun facts from our experience.

Number of Guests Invited: 199
Number of Invitations: 108
Number of Guests: 143
Number of Yes Responses Before Receiving a No: 32
Number of Responses not Received: 15
Number of Guests we Never Heard from: 4
Number of Wedding Crashers Expected: 0
Number of Guests Lost due to the Holiday Weekend: 3
Number of Surprising Rejections: 4
Number of Wild Cards (Will they or won’t they Show): 14
Number of Awful Excuses (Seriously, just say you can’t make it): 3
Number of People who Better Show Up Ready to Party: 142

You are my Candy Girl

Sugar, Sugar by The Archies

I have to classify this one has a sleeper hit. You may not think of it often, but you will find yourself bopping along when it comes on the radio. Bethany uncovered the oddest aspect of this song a couple of years ago when she picked up a chant in the final 30 seconds or so of, “Pour Some Sugar on Me.” Is it possible this is where Def Leppard found their inspiration?

On a side not, I have a mega sweet tooth, but never really find myself interested in wedding cake. I’ve narrowed this down to two reasons. First, I’m a sucker for the homemade cake and the more chocolate the better. Weddings portray the cake as a work of art to be admired and this doesn’t appeal to me unless of course it’s a setup for a Three Stooges short. A discussion on cakes would of course never be complete without a mention of my utter hatred for carrot cake (commence eye rolling, my lovely bride). Second, I’m usually busting my moves on the dance floor by the time dessert comes out and at this point my table lies far away in the rear view mirror.


To close things out have you eve taken a moment to check out the number of Archie comics in your local supermarket? The artist who spends his time drawing the bodies of Betty and Veronica needs some serious psychological help.

Dream a Little Dream

The other day I added to my list of life dreams by deciding to create a time machine so I can use pop culture references from the future before they happen. Think about cool it would be for people to stare at me blankly and then understand what I was talking about a week or a month later.

For example, after a motorcycle cut me off last week I could’ve said, “I wish someone would Rothlisberger that guy.” This Monday people would have of course realized I was referring to the brilliant quarterback of the Pittsburgh Steelers who thought recklessly driving a motorcycle without a helmet was funny until he slammed into a car and spent seven hours in surgery.

On the flip side it would be difficult for people to know I am referencing the future when I note Britney Spears is a questionable parent. Today you may think I’m referring to her driving problems when in fact she ran out of formula and made her son a White Russian next Wednesday.

Also, when I say I dislike Derek Jeter you may think it’s because he plays for the Yankees. Truthfully, after making three ninth inning World Series errors an irate George Steinbrenner will trade him to the Calgary Flames and he will begin dating Star Jones who should return to whatever law firm she allegedly worked for and the rest of the country alone.

I’m beginning to think this is getting as confusing as the Linday Lohan/George Michael marriage (See August 8th, 2006).

The Stationary Agent

Zoiks!!

It’s been a whirlwind over here at wedding central. I thought we were in a good place in April and May, but then June rolled around and we’ve been doing something significant every day. To be honest, my beautiful bride organizes and manages most of the work, but I try to chip in when I can. Just last week I thought I had a night off and the next thing I knew I ended up on the phone with the D.J. for forty-five minutes. The sense of accomplishment you achieve when crossing each item off the list is refreshing not to mention it serves as a distraction from the reality the wedding is less than three weeks away.

One of the features of the wedding process that has surprised me involves the amount of stationary required including save the dates, wedding invitations, shower invitations, the informational tablet, programs, place cards, and the rehearsal dinner invitations. I think we single handedly destroyed a rain forest in Paraguay and I hope Al Gore doesn’t come looking for us for his next documentary. I guess we can only dream of the day when cars will run on corn fuel and Evite will be an acceptable way to ask guests to attend your wedding.

This weekend we attempted to create our rehearsal dinner invitations and some labels with mixed results. I have never had a good relationship with any of my printers as they always take great amusement in shafting me when I need them most by laughing at me with their flashing red and green lights to the less than soothing sound of jammed paper. It taunts me by saying. “Here you go lazy. I’ll print up the four step Mapquest directions to the nearest Fuddruckers you could write down faster on your own” and then refuses to print the four-page paper on Macbeth due in ten minutes. Am I the only one with this problem? I probably shouldn’t come into these situations thinking my personal printer has the power of an office printer capable of producing 150 pages a minute,

Sadly, this behavior continued over the weekend. After spending ninety minutes figuring out how to print the invites on the special paper we purchased, the printer randomly decided to change the colors of our ink after the third copy. Fortunately, several curse words, a drop kick, and a reboot cleared up the problem. Can I point this does wonders for the stress level of an engaged couple working on a project together in their pajamas?

The labels did not go nearly as well and I spent my time failing into the early hours of Sunday morning, failing to print a single one correctly. After a solid fourteen hours of trying to make it work merely on principle I folded my cards when Bethany refused to allow me to eat via an IV tube and decided to purchase them on the internet rather than waste any more time. I know it will disappoint everyone my TlC won’t be in each one, but I’ll autograph them for $5 a pop.

Come on Everybody

Let’s Twist Again like We Did Last Summer by Chubby Checker

No wedding can be complete without an appearance of the twist and who does it better than the distinct voice of Chubby Checker?

I give him mad props for two things:

1) He’s clearly a cool guy because rather than complaining about his nickname he decided, “That’s right, I’m fat and I’m going to use it to make millions.”
2) After coming out with the original Twist he somehow created a sequel to a song in the tradition of today’s summer blockbusters. Put that in your pipe and smoke it Coldplay!!


This is one of the wedding moments we’re very excited for so please join us out on the dance floor

All Bachelored Out

Well, unless there’s something going on against my wishes, I’ve elected to decline the offer of a Bachelor Party once I found out Vince Vaughn and the Hilton sisters had schedule conflicts. People may be surprised when they hear I’ve passed on this tradition, but I’ve found it very difficult to get excited or interested in such an event. For starters, I’m not in my 20s anymore and I really don’t think I could handle an evening full of drinking nor am I interested in feeling like crap for the next 10 days because of it.

We of course have the discussion of the Stag Party staple (ahem) the Gentlemen’s Club. I’ve only been to such an establishment twice and I probably never would have been if one of the guys with us in New Orleans wasn’t suffering a mental breakdown due to a recent break up. Did I have my arm twisted to attend? No. Did I have a good time? Yes. It always seemed to me this was a way for guys to compensate for the fact they can’t maintain a conversation with women and that’s not really a concern of mine.

Then we have the ‘ol “Last Hurrah with the Gang” theory which frankly sounds depressing. I spent several upon several upon several years living a Bachelor Party only going out with guys, talking to guys, and watching sports with guys. There’s only so many video games you can play together before you realize you’re on a path of being crazy old Uncle Harry and that things need to change.

On a final note I am going to relay to you the best Bachelor Party story I have and it happened to my father. My dad and his gang settled in at Primo’s, one of their favorite watering holes in Cranston, Providence, Johnston, or some other die hard Rhode Island Italian community. They maintained a close relationship with Primo due to their frequent visits and this ended up paying huge dividends because at the end of the night someone’s leather jacket turned up missing. So you’d think you’d be out of luck because some kid recognizes the attention of the whole crowd is diverted and heads off with a new gift for his brother. Not in Rhode Island. Primo calms everyone down, makes a few phone calls, and has the jacket back in twenty minutes. So while your favorite mimics that of the thousands of other guys who’ve been to Scores, I’m still waiting for another tale featuring mob intervention.

Top it Off

We’re down to the Fab Five in the song of the week wedding edition.

I’m riding into the weekend with Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch by The Four Tops because to me this song captures the pure essence of Mo Town. Four guys in suits singing their hearts out for the girl who crushed them. The best part occurs with the solo at the end and I dedicated the summer of 1998 to memorizing this part to perform at my summer camp talent show. I will cherish the fourth place ribbon forever.

Over the past year or so I’ve also developed a dance routine to go along with my exquisite singing voice. The whole pace remains slow enough to keep up with the song and involves full spins, half spins, foot shuffling, clenched hands, and the slow arm raise. Stay tuned for a sterling wedding performance