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Feel it, Feel it

Good Vibrations – Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch

When you think about it, the story of Mark Wahlberg breaks all molds. First, he rides brother Donnie’s New Kids on the Block coattails and somehow manages to produce a successful rap song that is way cooler than anything from NKOTB not called Step by Step. Fine, he succeeds where most has been relatives fail and it’s time to ride his one hit wonder off into the sunset to ask people, “Would you like fries with that?” But nooooooo, instead he transforms himself from a guy lifting a cinder block dumbbell in his music video to a legitimate actor landing lead roles in Boogie Nights, Planet of the Apes, and The Italian Job. Not to mention he creates the superb semi-autobiographical HBO show Entourage which becomes so hip A list Hollywood personalities beg for a role.

Truly an amazing feat, but he’ll always be Marky Mark to me. And if you’re lucky I may even perform the showstopper during this song.

This & that

Here’s some items of interest to me over the past week:

• Check out good friend and frequent Chuck E Cheese patron Chris White’s new video Guys Watching 24. It’s of SNL quality and a good laugh to email to all of your friends and coworkers.
• Bethany and I watched The Aristocrats over the weekend and we both enjoyed it more than we thought. For those of you who don’t know, this unrated documentary allows numerous comedians (Robin Williams, Bob Saget, etc.) to tell their version of an old vaudeville joke named after the movies title. Why is it unrated? Because it takes the dirtiest, nastiest story you know and multiplies it by 100. Needless to say it’s not for the conservative, but if you can take it there’s some hilarious material with Drew Carey, Kevin Pollack, Andy Richter, and the staff of The Onion.
• We made fajitas over the weekend and I encourage our loyal readers to make the chicken and vegetables on the grill the next time you make this dish. We found the food to taste fresh and have a better taste than the stovetop.
• It’s only a few more weeks until The Da Vinci Code makes it to the big screen and I look forward to seeing it even if Tom Hank’s looks foolish with that hairdo. I recommend reading The Rule of Four by Ian Caldwell and Dustin Thomason if you enjoy Dan Brown’s novels. I also read this week that the sequel with be called The Solomon Key and will involve the Freemasons.
• Speaking of reading, I’m in a big time, unsatisfying three books slump I hope to break with Amy Tan’s Saving Fish from Drowning. I was on fire with my selections in 2005, but I’ve made some recent gambles with a couple of non-fiction memoirs I found unsatisfying. Oh, I do urge you to read The Tender Bar by JR Moehringer and please let me know if you have any good suggestions
• For those of you who haven’t discovered Monday night’s newest sensation, How I Met Your Mother came out strong last night with a Barntastic episode. Fun fact, Robin’s date, Sandy Rivers, was played by Alexis Denisof who is the real life of husband of Alyson Hannigan who portrays Lily on the show. Why do I know this? Because they both played key roles on Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel.
• What’s the feeling out there on United 93? Personally, I still don’t have pleasant memories of that experience and have no interest in seeing it.
• In closing I’m posting a picture we took in my office/theme park as we tested out our new costume purchases. To answer all of your questions I am neither the coffee cup nor the donut because I am holding out for the Omwich.

Introducing....

We have this running conversation in the office regarding having entrance music for when people walk in the door each morning. The goal is to find something fitting for yourself as well as your colleagues. Needless to say we have quite a few laughs during this game.

Last week I came up with the idea to make the adjustment of applying this premise to our wedding by emailing some friends to come up ideas on how they would want to enter our reception. I have amazingly figured out how to make this work based on a Rolling Stone article Bethany read a month ago. People have been inserting computer chips in their arms for the sole purpose of storing their ID information so they do not bring it with them when they go clubbing because the bouncer scans them in. I am proposing everyone have these chips implanted in their arms and they will be programmed to play your entrance music when you walk in the door. Best of all you can order the insertion equipment on the Internet and don’t even need to visit a doctor!!!

Thanks to all who contributed and I had to do some editing so I apologize if I left anything out.


Brian: “Living in America” by James Brown
There is no doubt that I would reenact the opening
fight scene with Apollo in Rocky IV. I am talking the
music, fireworks, and the Red, White and Blue Boxing
shorts and one of the greatest songs of all time.

Nick: “Godzilla” by Blue Oyster Cult.
Classic 70s hard rock/metal tune, I just love the lyrics. "Oh no, there goes Tokyo, go go Godzilla."
With a purposeful grimace and a terrible sound
He pulls the spitting high-tension wires down
Helpless people on a subway train
Scream bug-eyed as he looks in on them

Katie: Mine goes without saying...”You Sexy Thing!” By Hot Chocolate

Chris W: “She Used to Be My Girl” by the O'Jays, because I want to enter in tears and give people something to talk about.


Stacey: “Let's Get It Started” - Black Eyed Peas...I'm thinking about setting it to play as my computer warms up in the morning...it's a peppy little ditty


Matt: "Hells Bells" by AC/DC because it starts slow and dramatic and builds to a completely rockin crescendo that juxtaposes traditional Christian iconography (the wedding bell) and its polar opposite,
I'm picturing lots of black leather, red lighting, and Goth makeup. And motorcycles--is the aisle wide enough for two hogs
abreast?

Sully: "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey. It's just one of those songs I can listen to at any time.

Jennie: “Le Freak” by Chic. It would definitely have to be some fun dance song like that song that goes "Freak out!.....Le freak, c'est chic .... Freak out!" I think it has a nice build up that would be perfect for making a grand entrance :)

Cheryl: "Oh What a Beautiful Morning" the opening song from Oklahoma. Gordon McRae is riding his horse through a wheat field singing, "There's a bright golden haze on the meadow,/there's a bright golden haze on the meadow./ The corn is as high as a elephant's eye,/and it looks like it's climbing right up to the sky..../Oh what a beautiful morning/Oh what a beautiful day/I've got a beautiful feeling/Everything's going my way..."

Do you remember?

This week I’ll discuss September by Earth, Wind, and Fire. Ironically enough, last September I attended a wedding of a coworker and when this song hit the dance floor I began to wonder why I had not included it on my running list of surefire hits.

If you pay attention to the lyrics it has a certain appropriateness to it I think qualifies it as a love song. It asks do you remember the beginning of the relationship and how wonderful we felt being together. Those feelings continued to grow until this day when we’re still happy together and as the years go by we’ll all always recall that first month when we started this special thing called love.

I love you, but I don't think so, Part III

It’s time once again to return from my hiatus and provide my loyal readers with yet another round of some of my brilliant ideas that are apparently not so brilliant. We’ll call this one the food service edition.


Have you ever received a wedding invitation and been confused when trying to decide what you want for dinner in five weeks? I could barely figure out what I wanted to eat at six o’clock tonight. Why not include scratch and sniff stickers of the available entrees to help your guests decide? There’s nothing like opening a piece of mail smelling like sea bass.

True story. It’s the summer and we both love margaritas (you haven’t had one until I’ve been your bartender) so I think we should have a tequila bar. I think the response I received went along the lines of, “Absolutely not, someone will get naked.”


I love ice cream and cake so why not offer the best invention since chocolate and peanut butter decided to get together. Yes my friends, I propose we provide a Fudgie the whale Ice Cream wedding cake brought to you by our friends at Carvel.


During cocktail hour we offer nothing, but carnival food. I’m thinking formal wear will be the perfect attire to feast on cotton candy, kettle corn, fried dough, snow cones, and corn dogs.


Two words: Scorpion Bowls. We set two at each table and kick off the reception with a good old table race. Losers drink a second

Do You Like It Like This

For this week’s installment I’m selecting Do You Love Me by The Contours.

True story: When I attended high school this song played during the commercials of a Ted Danson and Macauley Caulkin movie called Getting Even with Dad. I never saw a second of this film, but I became obsessed with the song and resorted to buying the More Dirty Dancing soundtrack in order to own it.

Let’s be honest, any time you have the opportunity to do the Mashed Potato AND The Twist in the same song you really can’t go wrong. Also, you have one of those fake endings where the music slows down so you think it’s over, but then it picks back up. I call this the horror movie effect because just when you think the villain’s finished he always comes back that one last time.

Happy Easter!!!

Dinner Time(See Recipe Below)

One of the traditions we have adopted when we started living together is to have a family dinner every night at the dining room table and some of you reading this have even broken bread with us on a few occasions. This is a strong departure from my prior ritual of making dinner and sitting down to watch whatever sporting event, game show, entertainment news program, MTV reality show, or Seinfeld episode caught my eye on that particular evening. I can now count the number of dinner we’ve eaten in front of the TV on one hand and I’ve even resorted to eating at the table when I’m home alone. Normally, we plug in the iPod and enjoy our dinner while catching upon the events and news of our days.

In addition to spending time dining together we also employ the team method to making our meals. This procedure takes many different forms as it varies as to who will be in charge of the main dish or the sides and the role of leader can even flip around over the course of one food preparation. I think we have several delicious options to choose from out of our house cookbook and I would like to share one with you now. It’s a fairly simple pasta recipe you can locate at most restaurants, but now you can make it in the comfort of your own home. I also must add the disclaimer that do years of working in a restaurant I no longer measure anything which usually works out except for the fact I am now forbidden from making StoveTop, but I think I calculated amounts correctly. It also helps to entertain yourself by doing your best Emeril impression while working over the stove

Pepper’s Pasta

1 Chopped Clove of Garlic
1/2 Cup Of Butter
1/2-Cup Wine
1 Sliced Yellow (or your favorite color) Pepper
1 Cup of Chopped Onion
1 Cup of Peas
2 Sliced Portabella Mushroom Caps
1/2 Cup Sun Dried Tomatoes
1/2 lb of Penne Pasta (Feel free to Substitute)
1/2 Coffee Mug of Chicken Broth (Heat in Microwave)
1/2 Pint of light cream
1/2-Cup Parmesan Cheese

1. Add Pasta to boiling water and set timer for 10 minutes
2. Sauté the garlic and butter for 1 minute
3. Add all the vegetables and the cooking wine to Step 1 and cook for 2 minutes while being sure to stir the vegetables every 20-30 seconds. The basic point here is to try to keep the vegetables on the bottom burning and sticking to the bottom
4. Pour the Chicken Broth into the vegetable mixture and cook until broth has boiled off while continuing to stir vegetables every 20-30 seconds
5. The cream can now be added to our pan. Once all the cream begins to boil pull it off the heat after 20 seconds or the sauce may break. It helps to save a little cream because you can save a cream sauce by adding more cream. Right before you remove the pan from the heat, add the remaining cream for 10-20 seconds.
6. Strain the cooked pasta and add it to the pan with the vegetables/sauce along with the Parmesan cheese. Mix everything together and you’re ready to serve in your favorite bowl.

Enjoy and please feel free to substitute in all your favorite vegetables. Also, add a little water to the bottom of your pan to help with the after dinner clean up.

Operation: Costco

Yesterday on my bi-weekly trip to Costco I agreed to step up and to make one of those purchases that forever proves your commitment to a woman. Armed only with a hand scratched description of the box, I ventured into the health and beauty aids area to purchase some sort of lotion, spray, or cream whose purpose I will never understand. I now offer a how to guide for all you guys out there willing to perform all the shopping for your household.

Step One: When approached and asked to add this item to your list, sincerely agree to come home with this request. If you’re uncomfortable (which I can see being understandable) say so and don’t return with a lame story of how, “I meant to get it, but I didn’t remember until I was in line at the register for ten minutes and I just figured you’d be able to get it later. Love you.”

Step Two: All right so you’re at the store and you’ve prepared yourself mentally for the big moment so its time scout out the health and beauty aids section for your prey. First, walk confidently up and down the aisles like you know exactly what you’re searching for so as not to draw attention from a sales person looking to help/embarrass you. It also helps to not focus directly on every item because this will indicate you are searching for something specific. Take a wide view of your surroundings while carefully keeping an eye open for your target.

Step Three: Once you’ve found what you’re looking for there’s no need to grab it immediately. The true pros will walk right by without breaking stride while making a mental note of where they need to return. Now it’s time to engage in some recon by figuring out how many people are shopping in the area and what your best escape route will be. Feel free to pass by your item of choice two or three more times without showing your hand.

Step Four: Be prepared with an excuse of in case someone stops you. I usually go with, “I’m looking for the 20th Anniversary Two Disc Gold Edition of The Goonies and I think I’m in the wrong section” before running out of the store screaming “Abort, Abort” without making eye contact with another person until I’m home.

Step Five: In order to make the proper pick up you need at least two hundred and fifty yards of aisle space to build up the proper momentum to swoop in for the no look, knock the goods off the shelf into the cart without stopping finale. Warning: You must be good at weaving and offering rapid “Excuse Me” comments to complete this move.

Step Six: Now that prize lies in your cart it’s time to provide some cloud cover on the way to the register. I would personally go with a Dora the Explorer sleeping bag, a 350-piece bag of Buffalo wings, and a box of Scooby Doo fruit snacks.

Step Seven: It’s time for check out so try to find a guy working the register because you can at least make a few jokes about it. If you have to use a woman carefully place the bomb in the middle of all your items and NEVER look at it until it’s safely out of the store next to your car. Place it in the car and drive home ignoring all red lights.

Good luck and happy shopping!!

This One's For All You Lovers Out There

Hi all! This post represents our 100th entry in the blogging universe. Thanks for all your support and input.

This week’s choice of music to be danced to at our wedding is Can’t Get Enough of Your Love by Barry White. Of every option out there this would be classified as “our song” and we adopted it early on in our relationship by spending many moments in my bedroom practicing our dance moves. Now I know people out there think I cracked and gave away our secret first dance, but I am sad to inform you that would be incorrect. The soulful, sexy voice of Mr. White clocks in at a good 4:30(and feels longer) so we’ve opted not to dance by ourselves for 5 minutes in exchange for having our guests out there with us for this energetic beat. One of the things I like about Barry White is he presents material with fast rhythm, but he doesn’t stray too far from where he starts. People can enjoy the song because they grow familiar with the pace and don’t need to think 30 seconds in.

So be prepared to grab your favorite loved one to do some twirling to the voice of the velvet teddy bear.

Spring Into It

After last year’s wet and cold non-existent Spring, we received a gift from Mother Nature over the weekend with the first taste of warm weather in 2006. Things turned out better than expected as the temperature beat the forecast by climbing well into the 70’s and the projected rain for Saturday held off until late in the afternoon. No matter where I went I found people in a good mood with a little extra jump in their step as they spent the day running errands, exercising, or out for a stroll. The positive energy created by warm weather can be very contagious and really picks everyone up a bit.

Here are some of the ways I celebrated the weekend:

• I wore shorts for the first time in a non-party environment.
• I opened several windows to allow fresh air into our home
• The grill has made its way back into rotation for dinner preparation as I dined on some tasty cheeseburgers and BBQ chicken. Bring on the hotdogs, mussels, sea bass, and asparagus
• I worked in the yard cleaning up the remaining dead leaves and pine needles to the sexy sounds of a preview of the National League Central. My mission for the next month will be to give our backyard a makeover in a valiant attempt to make it green again. Sorry folks, the tiki hut will be retired to the big volcano in the sky
• I went out with Brendan to enjoy my first margarita (or three) of the season. The place we went shafted us on the tequila content in our drinks, but it still stands strongly as a symbol of things to come.
• The Final Four took two weeks of exciting basketball and reduced them to three awful halves. I think the UCLA-LSU game was over the second they tipped off.
• Baseball season kicked off Sunday night with the defending World Series champion Chicago White Sox taking on the Cleveland Indians. What better way to enjoy some nice weather than watching the Boys of Summer….until a third inning, three hour rain delay found me asleep long before this game ended.

I think that’s about it. How did you spend the weekend taking in the beautiful weather?

Now Waaaaiiitt A Minute

I’ll be filling in for a few weeks for song of the week and I’ve decided to dedicate my time to writing about music I would like to hear at our wedding. My first selection will be Shout by the Isley Brothers because it has a little something for everyone. You have a fast pace, a slow pace, jumping, taking it to the ground, and easy lyrics to remember. What more do you need for the perfect song and you only need to watch the montage to appreciate it. In fact, find it in your CD selection or download it right now and I guarantee you’ll remember why it’s such a good time. And don’t be embarrassed if you’re at work because my money’s on you invigorating your coworkers by playing Shout because I may have tried it myself. Bethany and I play it a few times during the week to dance off our work stress.

It makes me wonder why they don’t make songs like this anymore. Think about it, it seems like all the really, really good songs all come from the 60’s. If you don’t believe me, turn your radio to your local Oldie’s station and I bet you will find a song you love within ten minutes. I think it’s because musicians want to be considered “artists” so they add too much emotion to their writing instead of having fun with it and you end up with these drawn out stories of a broken heart. Shout’s a pure song. Some guy likes a girl and his feelings can best be described by letting it fly without thinking about it. The result is every wedding in the world playing this song and people race to the dance floor to get a little bit softer now

I would also like to put everyone on notice I plan on attempting to set a new world record for the most people doing the Turtle (a dance move made popular my Animal House) in one place. My official score sheet indicates you get credit for 2.5 people for each female who hits the floor so step up ladies

PS I did listen to Shout three times while writing this post.