Addressing The People

From talking to people, it has come to my understanding each groom plays a different role in his wedding. Some men show little to no interest in the planning process, feel they completed their primary job once they proposed, and only worry about showing up for the ceremony. In other cases, the bride expects nothing from her fiancé because she planned her wedding in 1991 or has visions of doing everything with her mother. From my perspective, I like the thrill and pressure of organizing parties for people so I would like to be as much a part of the process as I can possibly be. I understand I will not be a part of the dress selection and I will probably review the details from the florist without much more than a nod of my head, but if there’s something I can do to relieve the stress level I’m 110% behind helping out.

In early November, it randomly occurred to me that I could coordinate the effort between our friends and two families to collect the addresses of our guests without Bethany having to contribute much on this project. After reorganizing our guest list using my previously mentioned Excel skills, I determined I needed to personally contact 60% of the people to complete our address book. Sure, I could send out a mass email to everyone, but where's the fun in that? I decided to personally write everyone I needed to track down by putting a little something special in each of their messages to hopefully brighten their day and make the process a little more interesting to myself. When I started writing I had some concerns because I wasn’t sure if I could meet my own creativity challenge or if some of the people would be upset with me with regards to some of the angles I used in my approach. To be more specific, I’m a pretty weird dude and I’m not quite sure Bethany’s friends realize the capabilities of my brain. Fortunately, everyone seemed to enjoy the process and I received some amusing emails back. I ended up having a great time and I found my creativity to be running at such a high level that I found myself developing blog ideas as part of the process.

I would like to thank everyone for playing along and here are some of my favorite ideas:

• I regret to inform you our draft lottery did not include you as one of our top 425 guests, however, you did qualify as our twelfth alternate
• We reviewed your application to the prestigious Table 5. Thank you for the lovely tray of cookies although I do prefer chocolate chip to oatmeal so don't screw up next time.
• We're looking for a videographer for our wedding who could combine the skills of Tarintino, Ang Lee, and Penny Marshall. This was later described to me as “When Harry Met Sally” with machine guns
• A census review of our guest list alerted us to the fact we were not properly represented by enough residents from Allentown, PA.
• We've decided we would like our ceremony interpreted in Farsi
• I have recently contacted the Witness Protection Program to determine your whereabouts, but they could offer little assistance because they are also unaware of the current state you reside.
• The super secret Skull, Crossbones, and Savol Third Floor Organization is planning it's summer meeting in Boston. Please forward the correct contact information so we can send you your Kareoke assignment for the weekend
• As you know our selection process is very strict and numerous candidates are competing for our boarding student openings. Based on your location, we would like to see if you would like to also submit an application to be a day student this July
• Thank you for your request to appear on Sean "Puffy, Puff Daddy, P.Diddy, Diddy" Combs second season of Making the Band III. We have forwarded your information to Making the Wedding: Medeiros & Marcogliese
  

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Bethany!!!
It's Bethany's 28th birthday today so please leave her a message wishing her the best of luck with her 28 tequila shots.

I think my best birthday memory occured during her first birthday when we were together back in 2001. Bethany became deathly ill and spent the entire day lying in bed. I thought my plans were shot especially since my gift revolved on us going out out on a nice date, but she rallied and refused to postpone the evening. I am very thankful for this because I had no idea what my backup plan would be.

That was the best Big Mac we ever shared together. Happy Birthday and I look forward to many more together.

Love
D

Home Alone

I spent this weekend home alone for the first time as Bethany left for sunny Arizona to attend conference. It’s strange having no one around. Initially it’s somewhat peaceful, but then after a few hours it gets incredibly boring and I have to exert significant effort to motivate myself to complete my tasks for the day. Here’s a recap of what I’ve been up to:

• I settled down at a table at The Joshua Tree on Friday night with some friends. While it’s always nice to sit down, my back was to the crowd so I didn’t get to do much people watching, but a guy I see two or three mornings a week on the train ended up next to us. It’s funny because, “I know that guy”, was the initial thought that goes through my mind, but that quickly gets followed up with, “Actually, No I don’t.” It would still be fun to walk up and try to guess what his name would be….until he kicks you in the groin
• Also, judging by the excitement and loud singing at the bar I have a strange feeling people under the age of twenty five think Don’t Stop Believing by Journey is a new song because they heard it on MTV’s Laguna Beach. Also, have you noticed every show on MTV has included a montage or dance number to One, Two Step by Ciara (with Missy Elliot)?
• -Saturday, I had some wedding homework to complete so I sat at my computer enjoying the loneliness as I fired up my iTunes and hammered away at my keyboard. At one point, I caught myself screaming out the lyrics to This I Promise You by N’Sync and came to the conclusion I did not qualify as being alone because the three guys in the apartment above me could definitely hear me. For the record, I also hope they enjoyed my performance of Starship’s Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now and Jessica Simpson’s With You.
• -It’s errand time as I made my way to get my car inspected and to be honest I didn’t really think anything would come of it unless I failed like I did last year because a parking light needed to be replaced. As I walk in the door and find two guys in front of me, an employee who looks like the manager takes my keys and credit card from me. He proceeds to jack up the front of my car, look under it, have me sign my receipt, and sends me off before the cars of the first two customers are finished. The best I can come up is he became confused as to who bribed him, I will have a $3,000 additional charge on my credit card come Monday, or I will die in a horrible crash because I handed my keys over to one of the mentally challenged brother of one of the real inspectors who tagged along with him that day.
• -While watching TV at night I hear a suspicious sound and spend the rest of the night spreading tar on the stairs, heating a door knob, tying paint cans to ropes, and fleeing to my tree house to avoid two wanna be thieves who look suspiciously like Daniel Stern and Joe Pesci.

Raking for the Weekend

On Saturday, I undertook the task of cleaning up the leaves, pine needles, and sticks lying around our yard and grossly underestimated the amount of debris to be collected. I started by hitting the local hardware store and buying a package of five brown bags and while I contemplated shelling out the extra $1.97 to double my purchase, the frugal side of me won out and I decided against it. I mean come on, I could buy half a beer with that money. After returning home, Bethany made me a sandwich, I changed into some work clothes, and proceeded to undertake the task at hand.

I now feel I must dissect the previous statement because I feel there’s some material to elaborate on. First off, I am fully capable of making a sandwich for myself and while some may find the statement of my fiancé making me lunch chauvinistic, Bethany makes the best sandwiches I’ve ever eaten, so on the days she offers to whip something up for me I would be a fool to turn her down. She inherently always seems to know the correct ratio of meat, cheese and condiment spread to make a delicious lunch. It’s good stuff and if you’ve had one, you know what I’m talking about.

Now for the second part of the statement, I would like to make it known by “work clothes” I mean Adidas wind pants and a New England Patriots’ sweatshirt. Let’s be honest, who doesn’t like to celebrate filling a bag full of leaves by break dancing in their driveway to serve up their neighbors New England fall style.

Alright, so I have a good meal in my stomach and I look like I’m trying out for Breakin 3 so it’s time to hit the yard. I take out my trusty rake and begin my domestic duty for the afternoon. After seventeen minutes I’ve consolidated 40% of the front yard and I realize I should have spent the rest of that beer as well as part of the next round on more bags. I also need a nap so I curl up on the pile of refuse, promptly fall asleep, and wake up to a chipmunk licking my face. I now feel dejected because I not only need to drive to the store again because I Ebenezer Scrooged myself out of spending four dollars, but I’ve also been taken advantage of by one of the Rescue Rangers.

Fortunately, my luck begins to turn because I quickly find a parking spot, receive a free bag of freshly made popcorn at the store, and return home within twenty minutes with ten new paper bags ready to be filled with wet, moldy leaves. I complete the front yard and driveway so I head to the backyard where I find every square inch covered by something I can collect with my rake. I proceeded to make some pretty impressive piles of leaves and remember the days when I would have jumped right in. Obviously, I’m a little too old for that so I fashioned the piles into a fort and pretended I had been trapped in the Alamo with only my rake/rifle to keep me alive. Ah, the life of a sad, disturbing man.

Three hours later I finally fill my fifteenth sack and haul it to the front of the house where it looks like I’m preparing a barricade for the next natural disaster. The task has been completed and I head inside to enjoy a nice cup of warm apple cider.

Capital Gains

I apologize to everyone looking for their Monday morning blog fix, but we took a little four day trip down to Washington D.C. for Bethany to present at her first conference (good job sweetie) and we caught up with several different groups of friends. The nation’s capital is the site of our first vacation together in the spring of 2002 so it will always have somewhat of a special meaning to me. We did visit the Arboretum yesterday, but I never have great stories about site seeing in D.C. because I usually am trying to spend time with friends which is much easier to do at a restaurant than attending a museum to look at The Fonz’s jacket. It’s not that I hate site seeing, but I visited numerous historical landmarks with my family and I think I unconsciously found them to be very boring at the age of eight so I don’t get psyched up for them now. With that being said here are some highlights from the trip:

• Thanks to our host, the ever talented and occasional nudist, Chris White. Master of the Taco Soup and Oreo Cake, Chris always welcomes us to his apartment in Capital Hill. Chris will be working in Ann Arbor, Michigan this weekend so please throw some tomatoes at him if you are in town.
  
• Friday night we visited Old Glory in Georgetown and we had one of the best waitresses around. She recommended a wonderful peanut butter dessert, dealt professionally with some difficult clientele and we somehow ended up with a bucket of lollipops on our table by the end of the night.
• Do not take a cab ride from Dupont Circle to Georgetown because there zone fare system averages out to $6 a minute
• We caught Chris’s final show Saturday night at the Baltimore Comedy Factory and while I enjoyed the performance, I am disappointed this was the .00001% of the time someone doesn’t show up hammered beyond belief for the eleven o’clock start and tries to heckle the entertainment. I did, however, see a woman pass out with a good thirty minutes left, but her date stayed and at one point was clapping while using one of his arms to support her.
• Visit Café Luna at 1633 P St NW for lunch and substitute cole slaw for sauerkraut on the Rachel.
• Be warned of the militant bartender at Burke’s in Baltimore who had a Golem like obsession with making margaritas. I thought we were joking around, but then I grew concerned he would try to put my hand in a blender so I began avoiding eye contact
  
• Sunday night, I offered to buy everyone at the bar a drink (using Chris’s credit card), but I had to pick the combination. Surprisingly, no one wanted a Grand Marnier and Coke, Chardonnay and Cream, Dewars and Pineapple Juice, or Courvoisier and Sprite.
• My obsession for the weekend became determining whether a street name exists for every state and I found a map indicating this would not be the case. On our way out of town, however, I saw a Kentucky Ave, which once again proves you can never trust Rand McNally. Communist Bastards
• I met my cousin Danielle’s new boyfriend who works for an airline and we inquired as to whether the Mile High club is fact or urban legend. He proceeded to tell us a story about one of his friends taking up a student to fly the plane as he fulfilled the membership requirements with his stripper girlfriend. Petrified, the student would miss a radio call, the teacher kept his headset on for the entire flight. In addition, if you ever see one of the pilots roaming the cabin, start saying your rosary.

Back to School

Looking for a creative laugh? Some members of an Improv group at Boston College created a parody of the FOX's The OC called The BC and made it available for viewing on their web site. The humorous adventures follow expelled BU student Woody Atryan being taken in by the charitable Father Don MacMillan who partners him with Seth Lohan to assist with his rehabilitation. The show is cleverly written by it’s two stars, Woody Tondorf and Joe Sabia, and offers an opportunity for everyone to take a trip back to their college days of romance, parties, and video games.

The first two episodes can currently be found online and be sure to check out the commercials that are also available. My favorite moments are the singing of the Perfect Strangers theme by a member of the judicial council, a conversation among two priests regarding Usher’s Confessions, and the video game commercial with the Deans.